Thursday, November 30, 2006



Empezare esta crítica usando mi definición de un cosplayer feo. Me llamó la
atención cuando existía este fotolog que un donadie dijo ''es que ponen
cosplayers que no son TAN malos'' Pues yo digo que no importa si no son TAN
malos, son malos, son feos aunque sea poco. Si realmente les gusta un
personaje y conocen los detalles del traje, porque no ponen un chorrito de
esfuerzo mas para que de ser un cosplayer No-TAN-Malo sea uno bueno? Para mi
cosplayer malo, cosplayer feo, es ser cosplayer mediocre. Es ser un ser
humano mediocre. Prefiero alguien que haga algo de plano mal, que alguien a
quien le falto algo por hueva. ¿Eres pobre? ¿Eres manco? ¿Eres feo y gordo?
NO HAGAS COSPLAY.

A lo que voy. A esta garrapata yo le tome una foto pero salio muy oscura mas
tuve la suerte (o desgracia) de encontrar su foto junto la de otros
horribles mal nacidos en el sitio Cosplay.com. Y que nadie venga a llorar,
no pongas cosas en Internet que no quieres que alguien mas vea.

Bien, este personaje es Marcia de un excelente juego de estrategia llamado
Fire Emblem, aquí agrego una foto. Ven, que lindo personaje, y como se
habrán dado cuenta de inmediato, Marcia NO es un neandertal.

Empecemos desde arriba, Marcia tiene el cabello rosa pálido en corte de
niño, NO definitivamente NO trae una peluca fucsia medio pelona comprada en
la tienda de travestís donde esta idiotita seguramente trabaja. Marcia NO
tiene un corte llamado 'Bob', es un corte de niño. En cualquier lado te
venden tijeras, una cortadita MINIMO, no? Y por favor, PORQUE nos dejas ver
tu grasiento y sudado cabello de verdad? Marcia lo hace? NO. Marcia tiene
las cejas negras como carbón? NO

Marcia tiene los ojos azules muy claros, por mas que hurgo con un zoom de
1000000 en su desastre que llama cara no encuentro NADA remotamente azul,
nada mas esos platos negros negros que mas que para ver, asustan, para
botárselos a quien le quiera tomar foto.

La armadura de Marcia es resistente, sostiene la batalla en el cielo. No es
vinyl plegado y cerrado con masking tape. La pechera la resguarda de ataques
frontales, no es para acomodársela sobre la miseria que llama busto y que
llame la atención.

El vestido tiene cuello y lo mas importante NO TIENE DOS HORROROSAS PINZAS
EN FRENTE. Y que nadie venga a decirme que no hay otra forma de hacer un
vestido, porque soy de una familia de costureros, y he hecho varios cosplays
a comisión. Para terminar, el vestido tiene dos muy sexys aberturas a los
costados que empiezan desde que empiezan los muslos. El monstruo las tiene?
NO. Si hubiera dedicado un poco de investigación, se habría enterado que
Marcia monta un Pegaso, MONTA un Pegaso. Es necesario que ABRA las piernas.
Ahora que lo pienso que bueno que falto ese detalle, ya he visto demasiadas
estrias y no tengo necesidad de mas. Le falta que es muuucho mas corto. A
bajar de peso, dejaremos de lado los twinkies, okay, reina?
Marcia trae botas. BOTAS. No calcetines sobre los tennis de algún
pordiosero. Si vas a hacer cubiertas, intenta que alguien se la crea. Que no
se te engarruñen y bajen a cada rato, por favor. Los guantes son de
ciclista, cubren el inicio de los dedos, no se sujetan del arco de tu mano.
No queremos que se le resbale la lanza, verdad?

Y por ultimo la expresión. Marcia sonríe, es ALEGRE. No saca el labio
mirando a la gente, pidiendo ''Por favor, toca mi armadura''. No tiene la
cara llena se esperanza de que alguien, O, alguien, diga que vale algo como
ser humano aunque sea muy mediocre.

BAJEN DE PESO, HAGAN LAS COSAS BIEN, INVESTIGUEN, Y MANTENGANSE AL ANONIMATO
SI SE PARECEN A LA ABOMINACION INTENTO DE MUJER CASTIGO DE LA NATURALEZA QUE
PUSE ARRIBA.

Atentamente, Gustavo.
Y que le pese a quien le pese.

------------------

Crítica realizada por Gustaf Gumaroff.

------------------

Poco a poco Cosplayers Feos comienza a adquirir empuje, ojalá siga así y para ello nos gustaría que nos enviaran sus fotos y/o críticas a:

cosplayfeo@gmail.com

Saludos!!!!

66 Comments:

Blogger Hitomi chan said...

no conozco al personaje pero sí debo decir algo que ME CANSO de repetir en cada foro al que entro (y que de hecho lo tengo en mi página en la secciòn de pelucas):
No importa que el pelo de la peluca quede sobre tu cara, LO MÁS IMPORTANTE ES QUE NO SE VEA TU PROPIO PELO DEBAJO!!!!!
Si el personaje enseña las orejas, pues con la pena pero es más importante esconder el pelo de la patilla que enseñar las orejas.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nanna dice
Hoooola a todos los de cosplay feo y mas a su administrador
quiero decirte que me gusta que critiques, y lo sabes, desde que estabas en flog, me gusta que aqui no tienes que pensar que te van a cerrar la pagina, aqui puedes decir lo que se te antoje!!

sigo pensando que estuvo mal que se cerrara cosplay feo, pero que mas da T_T

10:53 PM  
Blogger Hitomi chan said...

gracias pro firmar mi flog, fíjate que hablando de hipocresía tengo ganas de hacer una entrada dedicad a tu flog porque unas cuantas amistades se sintieron "agraviadas" al leer tu flog, siendo que se expresan peor de sus ex parejas. Empezaré a prepararla a conciencia jojojo

11:36 PM  
Anonymous Ulisex (D.D Boy) said...

jajaj sierto por lo menos si no sabes acomodarte una peluca lo menos ke puedes hacer es pintarte el pelo ya si de plano no saben vallan con algien ke si se pa el traje pues esta muy x pero asi son la mayoria de los cosplay

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Blogger k_dash_x said...

porqueria de humano,porqueria de cosplay y un insulto a los amantes del personaje

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Shandu said...

Ok, el traje no es lo mejor, la peluca menos, las terminaciones tampoco y los detalles para nada... pero... qué diablos tienes con su peso? de gorda no tiene nada, salvo que te gusten los huesos con carne

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Shandu said...

esto, huesos con piel, pifia xD sorry

7:33 PM  
Blogger Chronito said...

¿Como?

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